For most people, sex is an essential part of a successful relationship. I think the best sex is achieved in a loving relationship, or at least where the partners feel affectionate towards each other. There's no doubt that when two people are emotionally open and trusting, sex can be a more complete experience, producing emotional fulfillment as well as physical pleasure - though most men would agree that the physical pleasure can be pretty good on its own!
In many relationships, sex can become slightly routine after a while. You might then want to experiment with new positions and techniques, because a slight change to your usual sexual routine can produce a new sense of excitement and greater arousal. For sexual tips and advice on the best positions, I recommend Sex Techniques And Positions.
There are some important differences between men and women when it comes to sex. Women take between ten and twenty times as long to get aroused as a man, but given sufficient foreplay, the vast majority will reach orgasm during sex. This means the kissing, stroking and cuddling that may seem very boring to a man do in fact have a valuable pay-off!
While men are very penis centered, women are much more whole body focused. Unlike a man, who might want his partner to start pleasuring him sexually by stroking or sucking his penis, a woman will usually want attention to her non-sexual areas before she can get aroused. The reason for this is that a woman may not know before sex starts whether or not she is going to have an orgasm - whereas most men know very well that an orgasm is the inevitable outcome of stimulating their penis. This difference can be frustrating, but it is important to women that men don't expect them to get instantly turned on and aroused. Several times in my life a woman in bed with me has admired the ability of my penis to get instantly hard and remain so.....in fact, I think women can be quite envious of this rapid responsiveness!
It's a fact that most men ejaculate rather quicker than they would like. As a couple you may want to plan sex around this fact. Since women often say that what they value about sex is the intimacy and closeness rather than the penetration by their partner's penis, one way of satisfying both members of the couple is for the man to give his partner oral sex until she comes, then to have a rest until they are ready for him to fuck her. This way, it will matter much less if he comes quickly, yet he gets the penile penetration which is so rewarding to him.
And make no mistake about it - sex is rewarding for men. The whole experience, both physical and emotional, is a fundamental part of feeling like a man. There's something about the moment of penetration, as your penis slips inside your partner, that reinforces our fundamental sense of maleness every time it happens. And sex in the man on top position, where you can enjoy the sense of holding your partner down and fucking her, whether gently and romantically or with hard and fast thrusts, can be the most fulfilling sex of all.
For pure animal lustfulness, sex in the rear entry position takes some beating. The sight of her buttocks parted to allow your penis entry to her vagina, followed by the sight of your penis pushing in and withdrawing from her body is about as exciting as sex gets.....although, since sex is such a personal thing, you may have a very different opinion!
The impetus to have sex is very strong, and the penis is a very sexy thing - responding so quickly to sexual stimuli, always ready to penetrate into warm wet places, that it is hardly surprising it has become a symbol of manhood and maleness. The problem with this is that it leads inevitably to a place where at some level we believe penis size is related to masculinity! Nothing could be further from the truth - masculinity is measured by values such as loyalty, honor, integrity, strength, courage, commitment, social responsibility, caring for children and building a safe and just society.
For more specific sex hints, see the Fifty Mistakes pages on this website.
No mention of sex would be complete without a mention of safe sex. But rather than safe sex, think of safer sex - use the word safer because all sex can have consequences, from emotional consequences to diseases and pregnancy. If you decide to be sexually active, you owe it to yourself to learn about what behaviors are risky, and how much risk you want to take. Here is a safe sex link I recommend.
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